It's now November. A lovely time of year when there's anticipation of the holiday season coming up and a sudden rain after a nice warm weekend.
It has been a wonderful month with huge achievements for Bing Bing. She has now successfully toilet trained. Oh I thought this day would never come...
I've been trying and trying for god knows how long. I heard and seen other kids are successfully toilet trained when they're like 19 months, 22 months, 26 months and what not. I became a little impatient with Bing Bing though I knew she wasn't ready. We had many painful accidents and it was going nowhere. Bing Bing just didn't get it even though she repeated every time "I want to go to the potty" when I asked "Next time, when you want to go pee pee, what are you gonna say to me?"
One afternoon, she was crying endlessly which was very unlike her. Alan and I couldn't figure out why she was crying so angrily. About 5 minutes later there was an accident and we realised she finally wanted to tell us that she wanted to go to pee. We just couldn't get it and she was too shy to tell us straight up.
From that afternoon onwards, she tells us every single time she wants to go to the potty. Almost no accident. At school it took one (long hard) day for her to be fully trained after that. I thought I had never been so happy. Good bye nappies and nappy rash.
Every morning she wakes up, goes to the toilet, does her pee, wipes her bottom, flushes the toilet, pulls up her undies and pants, washes her hands, brushes her teeth and gets ready for breakfast. I couldn't ask for me. It was like a dream in no time. She has finally grown, really grown up at 2.5 years old.
Bing Bing has also made a huge achievement in her speaking. She now reasons and explains. She doesn't just talk and repeat. She clearly explains and expresses herself with 'reasons'.
"Mom, I don't want to go to sleep now because I want to go downstairs with Daddy. You go to sleep now because you are tired otay?"
"Mom, what is Partha doing? What is he cooking? His noodles are very spicy and yucky. I don't like it. Do you like it Mommy?"
"Mom, what is Christmas? what is friendly? Am I a friendly girl?"
"Mom, you're not a boy because you're a girl, like me."
"Mom, you drive the car so Daddy can seat with me."
"Mom, don't drive the car, it's Daddy's, Daddy's on the bus to pick me up."
"No, I don't want to ăn khoai, I want to eat some soup please. It's yummy."
It has been a tsunami of conversations like that. One morning, Bing Bing wakes up before us and knocks on our door.
"Mommy, Daddy, can I come in with you guys?"
"Otay dear. Come on in. Hop on the bed, it's pretty cold." She lied down between us and says:
"Actually Daddy, it is about my biscuits. Actually where is my biscuit? Can I have my biscuits?"
She remembered that about a week before she gave Alan a bag of biscuits for him to hold on while she played. She never got it back...
Another afternoon she was wondering around the neighbourhood, leaving us at the door and said:
"Guys, wait for me here otay? I'll be right back."
"Guys, stop following me. I want to go by myself, where're your manners?"
Oh yes, the most popular saying these days is "No, I want to do it all by myself" and yes she does almost everything by herself. She washes the dishes every day. She of course eats by herself, reads by herself, plays by herself, takes off puts on clothes by herself, cutting, spreading butter on toasts by herself and how can I not mention, she does toilet by herself. She loves it. "I did it, Mommy! I did it all by myself". She says that with her proudest smile of all. I'm a proud mother.
I was telling her that a baby is growing inside my tummy and that she soon will have a real baby in her arms to hug, to kiss and to love. She understands it right away. She kisses and hugs my tummy where she thinks the baby is. She called the baby 'dida'. She asked me if dida can play for a while in her tummy too. She was screaming on top of her lung knowing that there's a baby coming. I was so very happy to see that. After more than a year of struggling to conceive the little baby is now within me. Bing Bing will have a little brother and sister that she's been longing for a while now. I could tell she was ready so long ago. It's gonna be great. I pray.
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
Tuesday, 6 October 2015
Month 31: A tiny giant
Gosh, it's already October. Winter has passed. Daylight saving has kicked in. Flowers are blooming everywhere. Oh... speaking of flowers, did I tell you that we have a little Maggie's garden going on at the moment. We have chilli, tomato, lettuce, roses, mints, lavenders, spring onions... you name it. Bing Bing is spending hours in her little garden rearranging all the pots, watering all the plants and asking all sorts of questions:
"What do you like about this one, Mommy?" - She picked up one of the spring onion pots.
"Erm, I like it because it's edible." - Ha, good answer Mommy I thought.
"E..di..ble...? Because it's edible?" - She puzzled.
"Yes, it means I can eat it."
"What about this one, Mommy? What do you like about this one?" - She picked up... another spring onion pot.
"Erm, I like it because it's fresh." - Ha good word good word Mommy I thought.
"Because it's fresh. Mommy likes it fresh." - She repeats. I knew she was sticking all the vocabs to her brain.
"What about this one, why do you like it?" - She picked up a pot of lettuce.
"What about you, why do you like it Bing Bing? - I reverted.
"Oh, I like it because it's small and because it's green, Mommy" - She quickly answered.
"Very good expression, Bing Bing! You've made a very long and descriptive sentence. Well done."
It went on and on like that for almost an hour. She talked to the plants if they've had enough water. She said sorry to the flowers when she cut the old ones. She was a busy gardener who's genuinely cared for each of her plants. I was absolutely delighted to see that my investments flourished.
------------------------------------------------------------
My heart aches whenever I see Bing Bing caring for Paloma, a 6 month old baby at her kindy, or Jordan, our 3-month-old sized baby doll. I knew that Bing Bing was ready to be a sister long ago. Perhaps she was ready before I was. She has a big heart to care for others whom she sees more fragile.
Whenever Bing Bing hears Paloma making any unpleasant noise or sneezing, she came straight to Paloma and asked
"Are you otay? Here, come, come to me." She asked as her hands gently moved over Palomar's hair and face.
Paloma was really happy that Bing Bing came over. She had a biggest smile as her thanks.
"She likes me, Mommy. She likes me." Bing Bing's face lighted up as she told me.
Same with Jordan, Bing Bing was riding her bike with Jordan at the front. She was checking every now and then to see if Jordan was alright. They went around and around for an hour or so.
"Mommy, I think Jordan is really really happy." Bing Bing looked up at me who was walking a few steps ahead.
"Oh, you think so?" I couldn't help smiling.
"Yes, I think so. And I am really happy too Mommy" She clearly responded.
"I am very happy that you both are happy, my dear" I kissed both of them in their foreheads.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
On Saturday, I was doing laundry. I was taking out dry clothes into a basket. It was full and rather heavy. Bing Bing was trying to lift up the basket for me but couldn't.
"It's too heavy for you Bing Bing. Let Mommy do it." I insisted.
"No, I can help you Mommy." She insisted more.
"Right. Right. We'll do it together." I compromised.
"Teamwork. I like it, Mommy" Bing Bing commented.
"Teamwork??" I asked.
"Yes, teamwork Mommy. I like teamwork." Bing Bing confirmed.
Bing Bing was also a very strict child to her parents. Sometimes I felt like our roles were somehow mixed up. You'll understand what I'm saying by reading the below. Surely those were said neither by Alan nor myself.
"Sit down on your bottom and I'll give it to you, Daddy."
"Sit down on your chair when you're eating, Daddy."
"Who's making the mess?"
"Excuse me, no talking Mommy. I am talking to Daddy."
"Mommy, eat your grapes!"
"Close your eyes Mommy. Go sleep. Good girl."
"Daddy, use your hands, don't use for feet!"
"You sit here Mommy. This is your chair. Don't sit on my chair."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first 1000 days are the most important time period for a person, in terms of brain and characters development. The brain grows at a speed that it would never match at any later stage. I always think if parents could spend 110% time and effort for their child's development in the first 3 years, they would need to spend less time and effort in the subsequent 3 years, and if they do it right, the time and effort needed would be less and less as time goes by and the child would still be the best they could be. That's successful parenting to me.
"What do you like about this one, Mommy?" - She picked up one of the spring onion pots.
"Erm, I like it because it's edible." - Ha, good answer Mommy I thought.
"E..di..ble...? Because it's edible?" - She puzzled.
"Yes, it means I can eat it."
"What about this one, Mommy? What do you like about this one?" - She picked up... another spring onion pot.
"Erm, I like it because it's fresh." - Ha good word good word Mommy I thought.
"Because it's fresh. Mommy likes it fresh." - She repeats. I knew she was sticking all the vocabs to her brain.
"What about this one, why do you like it?" - She picked up a pot of lettuce.
"What about you, why do you like it Bing Bing? - I reverted.
"Oh, I like it because it's small and because it's green, Mommy" - She quickly answered.
"Very good expression, Bing Bing! You've made a very long and descriptive sentence. Well done."
It went on and on like that for almost an hour. She talked to the plants if they've had enough water. She said sorry to the flowers when she cut the old ones. She was a busy gardener who's genuinely cared for each of her plants. I was absolutely delighted to see that my investments flourished.
------------------------------------------------------------
My heart aches whenever I see Bing Bing caring for Paloma, a 6 month old baby at her kindy, or Jordan, our 3-month-old sized baby doll. I knew that Bing Bing was ready to be a sister long ago. Perhaps she was ready before I was. She has a big heart to care for others whom she sees more fragile.
Whenever Bing Bing hears Paloma making any unpleasant noise or sneezing, she came straight to Paloma and asked
"Are you otay? Here, come, come to me." She asked as her hands gently moved over Palomar's hair and face.
Paloma was really happy that Bing Bing came over. She had a biggest smile as her thanks.
"She likes me, Mommy. She likes me." Bing Bing's face lighted up as she told me.
Same with Jordan, Bing Bing was riding her bike with Jordan at the front. She was checking every now and then to see if Jordan was alright. They went around and around for an hour or so.
"Mommy, I think Jordan is really really happy." Bing Bing looked up at me who was walking a few steps ahead.
"Oh, you think so?" I couldn't help smiling.
"Yes, I think so. And I am really happy too Mommy" She clearly responded.
"I am very happy that you both are happy, my dear" I kissed both of them in their foreheads.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
On Saturday, I was doing laundry. I was taking out dry clothes into a basket. It was full and rather heavy. Bing Bing was trying to lift up the basket for me but couldn't.
"It's too heavy for you Bing Bing. Let Mommy do it." I insisted.
"No, I can help you Mommy." She insisted more.
"Right. Right. We'll do it together." I compromised.
"Teamwork. I like it, Mommy" Bing Bing commented.
"Teamwork??" I asked.
"Yes, teamwork Mommy. I like teamwork." Bing Bing confirmed.
Bing Bing was also a very strict child to her parents. Sometimes I felt like our roles were somehow mixed up. You'll understand what I'm saying by reading the below. Surely those were said neither by Alan nor myself.
"Sit down on your bottom and I'll give it to you, Daddy."
"Sit down on your chair when you're eating, Daddy."
"Who's making the mess?"
"Excuse me, no talking Mommy. I am talking to Daddy."
"Mommy, eat your grapes!"
"Close your eyes Mommy. Go sleep. Good girl."
"Daddy, use your hands, don't use for feet!"
"You sit here Mommy. This is your chair. Don't sit on my chair."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first 1000 days are the most important time period for a person, in terms of brain and characters development. The brain grows at a speed that it would never match at any later stage. I always think if parents could spend 110% time and effort for their child's development in the first 3 years, they would need to spend less time and effort in the subsequent 3 years, and if they do it right, the time and effort needed would be less and less as time goes by and the child would still be the best they could be. That's successful parenting to me.
Saturday, 29 August 2015
Month 30: Guess how much I miss you
"Where's Daddy? I like Daddy! I want Daddy! Let's pick up Daddy, Mommy!"
That's the first thing she said in the morning and the last thing she said at night for the last two weeks. Alan's in Australia.
After a week and a half of repeating myself to Bing Bing "Daddy's away my dear. He's back on Saturday", Bing Bing started to revise her statements every morning and night:
"Daddy's not home Mommy. Mommy's here. Daddy's coming home on Saturday. Today's Monday. There's Tuesdays, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Daddy's home on Saturday Mommy."
"Since when could you name all the days of a week??" She took me by surprised.
"It's only Monday Mommy. Daddy's home on Saturday on a plane" Her eyes were wide open.
"How did you know Daddy's flying back on a plane??" My eyes were wide open!
"Daddy's on a plane. Vewwww flying on a plane Mommy. Daddy's not home. Mommy's here. Mommy nằm, Bing Bing nằm"
Bing Bing's a very sensitive baby since forever. She asked me to lie down with her for a little longer before she goes to sleep - just to feel a bit more secured when Daddy's not around.
One day I brought three chocolate golden coins home from a London shop on Queen Street for Bing Bing. They were lovely shiny golden chocolate coins with different sizes. Bing Bing absolutely fell in love with those. After careful consideration, Bing Bing opened the smallest one for herself and ate up
"It's so yum, Mommy! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, what about these two chocolate coins?"
"Umm, you eat this big one." - She gave the largest coin to me.
"Cool, thanks, what about this last one, shall we give it to Daddy when he's back tomorrow?"
"Yes!! This chocolate is Daddy's. I'll give it to him when he's home tomorrow." - Her eyes lit up like stars.
After about 2 minutes, "Mommy, can you open this chocolate for me. I want to eat it!"
"I thought this was Daddy's and you're giving it to him tomorrow when you see him?"
"Yes, this is Daddy's but I want it Mommy"
"I think Daddy would love it if you give it to him. Shall we wait until tomorrow, I'm sure he'll let you eat it anyway darling."
"Okay, I'll give it to him tomorrow"
After about another 2 minutes, "Can I open this Mommy?"
"Bing Bing, you want to eat it now or you want to keep it for Daddy?"
"I... I want to eat it."
"Are you sure you don't want to give it Daddy?"
"Okay, I'll give it to Daddy. Daddy likes chocolate like me." She smiled.
About three very similar conversations like that happened in a span of ten minutes. Every time Bing Bing ended up saving it for her Daddy. Finally we decided to put it away so it's not too tempting.
It was a huge development for a toddler as little as Bing Bing to learn to resist presented temptation. I remember reading a book talking about an experiment with young toddlers. They each were presented with a chocolate bar. They were told that they could either eat it now and that's it or wait for 10 minutes and they'd have two chocolate bars to eat. Only so very few toddlers manage to understand and exercise the concept of resisting temptation in exchange for a larger reward. It's then proven that later on those did wait for two chocolate bars did exceptionally well in school and out.
It's now two days since Bing Bing last skyped with her Daddy, simply because we were too busy.
"Mommy, let's call him. Do you want to talk to him?"
The moment Bing Bing saw her Daddy on the phone, she reached out her wide open arms and said
"Bần nà, bần nà Daddy" (Pick me up and carry me Daddy)
She turned to me and said
"I can't touch him, Mommy. I can't reach Daddy." - Sobbed.
They talked and talked. Very often I saw Bing Bing kissed the phone screen. She loved her Daddy so dearly. She sobbed when saying goodbye to Alan but she always slept very well the nights they talked.
Bing Bing's a really sensitive toddler. The first morning Alan left, Bing Bing was up from 3am and didn't fall back asleep. She struggled. She asked for milk. She asked for books. She asked for play dough. She was just looking for something to comfort her. That's how she got so attached to Jordan - our baby doll. Bing Bing insisted on carrying Jordan everywhere she went. Jordan was not allowed to be out of sight.
Friday night, I took Bing Bing to a pub for a colleague's leaving farewell drinks. Bing Bing was upset after about five minutes
"I don't want to be here Mommy. I want to go home with Daddy. Where's Daddy. Daddy's home today."
"He's on a plane flying home at the moment my dear. You'll see him in the morning okay?"
"I want to go home Mommy. I don't like it here."
She knew Alan was coming home. She just wanted to be home waiting for Daddy.
Now every time we mentioned Saturday, Bing Bing jumped up and hugged Daddy
"No no, Daddy, stay home don't go..." She sobbed.
It was heart breaking to see Bing Bing going through a little trauma like that. During the two weeks Alan went away, Bing Bing kissed me more often. She said she loved her Mommy more often. She took care of me the way a child could. I took care of her the way a mother did. We were best friends who comfort each other in the absence of our man. It was really special.
Now that Alan's back. She was screaming in happiness all morning with biggest grins on the face. Her heart is now full.
That's the first thing she said in the morning and the last thing she said at night for the last two weeks. Alan's in Australia.
After a week and a half of repeating myself to Bing Bing "Daddy's away my dear. He's back on Saturday", Bing Bing started to revise her statements every morning and night:
"Daddy's not home Mommy. Mommy's here. Daddy's coming home on Saturday. Today's Monday. There's Tuesdays, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Daddy's home on Saturday Mommy."
"Since when could you name all the days of a week??" She took me by surprised.
"It's only Monday Mommy. Daddy's home on Saturday on a plane" Her eyes were wide open.
"How did you know Daddy's flying back on a plane??" My eyes were wide open!
"Daddy's on a plane. Vewwww flying on a plane Mommy. Daddy's not home. Mommy's here. Mommy nằm, Bing Bing nằm"
Bing Bing's a very sensitive baby since forever. She asked me to lie down with her for a little longer before she goes to sleep - just to feel a bit more secured when Daddy's not around.
One day I brought three chocolate golden coins home from a London shop on Queen Street for Bing Bing. They were lovely shiny golden chocolate coins with different sizes. Bing Bing absolutely fell in love with those. After careful consideration, Bing Bing opened the smallest one for herself and ate up
"It's so yum, Mommy! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, what about these two chocolate coins?"
"Umm, you eat this big one." - She gave the largest coin to me.
"Cool, thanks, what about this last one, shall we give it to Daddy when he's back tomorrow?"
"Yes!! This chocolate is Daddy's. I'll give it to him when he's home tomorrow." - Her eyes lit up like stars.
After about 2 minutes, "Mommy, can you open this chocolate for me. I want to eat it!"
"I thought this was Daddy's and you're giving it to him tomorrow when you see him?"
"Yes, this is Daddy's but I want it Mommy"
"I think Daddy would love it if you give it to him. Shall we wait until tomorrow, I'm sure he'll let you eat it anyway darling."
"Okay, I'll give it to him tomorrow"
After about another 2 minutes, "Can I open this Mommy?"
"Bing Bing, you want to eat it now or you want to keep it for Daddy?"
"I... I want to eat it."
"Are you sure you don't want to give it Daddy?"
"Okay, I'll give it to Daddy. Daddy likes chocolate like me." She smiled.
About three very similar conversations like that happened in a span of ten minutes. Every time Bing Bing ended up saving it for her Daddy. Finally we decided to put it away so it's not too tempting.
It was a huge development for a toddler as little as Bing Bing to learn to resist presented temptation. I remember reading a book talking about an experiment with young toddlers. They each were presented with a chocolate bar. They were told that they could either eat it now and that's it or wait for 10 minutes and they'd have two chocolate bars to eat. Only so very few toddlers manage to understand and exercise the concept of resisting temptation in exchange for a larger reward. It's then proven that later on those did wait for two chocolate bars did exceptionally well in school and out.
It's now two days since Bing Bing last skyped with her Daddy, simply because we were too busy.
"Mommy, let's call him. Do you want to talk to him?"
The moment Bing Bing saw her Daddy on the phone, she reached out her wide open arms and said
"Bần nà, bần nà Daddy" (Pick me up and carry me Daddy)
She turned to me and said
"I can't touch him, Mommy. I can't reach Daddy." - Sobbed.
They talked and talked. Very often I saw Bing Bing kissed the phone screen. She loved her Daddy so dearly. She sobbed when saying goodbye to Alan but she always slept very well the nights they talked.
Bing Bing's a really sensitive toddler. The first morning Alan left, Bing Bing was up from 3am and didn't fall back asleep. She struggled. She asked for milk. She asked for books. She asked for play dough. She was just looking for something to comfort her. That's how she got so attached to Jordan - our baby doll. Bing Bing insisted on carrying Jordan everywhere she went. Jordan was not allowed to be out of sight.
Friday night, I took Bing Bing to a pub for a colleague's leaving farewell drinks. Bing Bing was upset after about five minutes
"I don't want to be here Mommy. I want to go home with Daddy. Where's Daddy. Daddy's home today."
"He's on a plane flying home at the moment my dear. You'll see him in the morning okay?"
"I want to go home Mommy. I don't like it here."
She knew Alan was coming home. She just wanted to be home waiting for Daddy.
Now every time we mentioned Saturday, Bing Bing jumped up and hugged Daddy
"No no, Daddy, stay home don't go..." She sobbed.
It was heart breaking to see Bing Bing going through a little trauma like that. During the two weeks Alan went away, Bing Bing kissed me more often. She said she loved her Mommy more often. She took care of me the way a child could. I took care of her the way a mother did. We were best friends who comfort each other in the absence of our man. It was really special.
Now that Alan's back. She was screaming in happiness all morning with biggest grins on the face. Her heart is now full.
Monday, 10 August 2015
Month 29: A new breath of development
7am on a Saturday morning...
I gently opened the curtains in Bing Bing's room. Slowly the sun rays went through the window and filled the whole room with sunshine.
Bing Bing laughed so happily when she saw the sun lights:
"Look! Look! Mommy look! I can see the lights!"
She went on and on about the sun and the lights until we got to our car making our way to her music class. Bing Bing suddenly explained:
"Mommy! When the sun wakes up, the moon goes to sleep! I can't see the moon when the sun wakes up. The stars also go to sleep."
Alan and I were shocked. Since when could she make such long sentences and since when could she make such beautiful expression of a natural event? Bing Bing now understood the concept of reocurrence.
Auckland in August is moody. It rains in a blink of an eye before the sun shines all around and rains again without much warning. Bing Bing was playing puzzles in our living room when it started to rain.
"What are you doing near the window, Bing Bing?"
"I'm seeing the rain"
I took her up to her room for changing. As a wonderful observant she was, she looked out her window and puzzled:
"It's raining here too Mommy?!"
"When it rains I can't see the lights Mommy" - Bing Bing continued before I could explain. What a great observation I thought. She must have remembered the sun lights going through her window in the morning.
"That's right Bing Bing. Maybe the sun is taking a nap when it rains."
Bing Bing's facial expression was priceless. One curious child she was. She now was able to make connection between events. She is connecting the dots...
Alan and I have been teaching Bing Bing a variety of opposites. You know, old-new, empty-full, tall-short etc. She's been doing so great with those concepts through puzzles and comparisons. It's much easier teaching opposite concepts. It's a lot harder to teach something in between. Been teaching her the "medium" concepts for two weeks now. Usually when serving food, I asked Bing Bing if her food is hot or cold, for instance, as an exercise to learn opposites.
"Is your rice hot Bing Bing?"
"It's not hot, it's warm" - Amazing I thought.
"Is the water hot or cold Bing Bing" - I asked when I drew her a bath
"Water's not hot, it's warm" - Wonderful I have succeeded.
Similar means of "medium" concept have been introduced: three sticks with different lengths, three circles with different sizes for Bing Bing to sort out.
"This is long, this is short. This is not too long not too short" - She mumbles as she sorts
"This is big, this is small. This is not too big not too small".
Oh, how could I forget. Another new breath of development for Bing Bing this month was her ability to ask this question that made us all speechless:
"Mommy, this is my Daddy, this is not your Daddy. Where's your Daddy?"
"Ong Phong is my Daddy, dear." I answered.
"Ba Binh is your Mommy or Daddy's Mommy?" - She asked. We went speechless. How could a 2 year old ask such a difficult question involving a very complex relationship?
One last thing that has been very handy for me. Bing Bing has now understood the concept of before and after. For toddler it was impossible to grasp this simple concept. For them there is only NOW or NEVER. That's why when they want something they've gotta have it now. If it's not now it means never. So they cry no matter how hard the parents explain "you can have ice cream after dinner".
"I have my rice first and I have my sua chua okay Mommy?" - YES! She's got it.
"I sleep now and I see Elsa and Anna later okay Mommy?" - Couldn't ask for more!
It's so much easier now to make a deal and explain to Bing Bing what needs to happen first before something else can happen. She really gets it!
It was truly amazing to witness and experience Bing Bing's new level of development and knowledge. She's started asking questions like "What is this Mommy?" and while I'm excited that she asked I'm nervous that in no time it's going to be real challenging to fulfil her curious mind :)
A proud mother
I gently opened the curtains in Bing Bing's room. Slowly the sun rays went through the window and filled the whole room with sunshine.
Bing Bing laughed so happily when she saw the sun lights:
"Look! Look! Mommy look! I can see the lights!"
She went on and on about the sun and the lights until we got to our car making our way to her music class. Bing Bing suddenly explained:
"Mommy! When the sun wakes up, the moon goes to sleep! I can't see the moon when the sun wakes up. The stars also go to sleep."
Alan and I were shocked. Since when could she make such long sentences and since when could she make such beautiful expression of a natural event? Bing Bing now understood the concept of reocurrence.
Auckland in August is moody. It rains in a blink of an eye before the sun shines all around and rains again without much warning. Bing Bing was playing puzzles in our living room when it started to rain.
"What are you doing near the window, Bing Bing?"
"I'm seeing the rain"
I took her up to her room for changing. As a wonderful observant she was, she looked out her window and puzzled:
"It's raining here too Mommy?!"
"When it rains I can't see the lights Mommy" - Bing Bing continued before I could explain. What a great observation I thought. She must have remembered the sun lights going through her window in the morning.
"That's right Bing Bing. Maybe the sun is taking a nap when it rains."
Bing Bing's facial expression was priceless. One curious child she was. She now was able to make connection between events. She is connecting the dots...
Alan and I have been teaching Bing Bing a variety of opposites. You know, old-new, empty-full, tall-short etc. She's been doing so great with those concepts through puzzles and comparisons. It's much easier teaching opposite concepts. It's a lot harder to teach something in between. Been teaching her the "medium" concepts for two weeks now. Usually when serving food, I asked Bing Bing if her food is hot or cold, for instance, as an exercise to learn opposites.
"Is your rice hot Bing Bing?"
"It's not hot, it's warm" - Amazing I thought.
"Is the water hot or cold Bing Bing" - I asked when I drew her a bath
"Water's not hot, it's warm" - Wonderful I have succeeded.
Similar means of "medium" concept have been introduced: three sticks with different lengths, three circles with different sizes for Bing Bing to sort out.
"This is long, this is short. This is not too long not too short" - She mumbles as she sorts
"This is big, this is small. This is not too big not too small".
Oh, how could I forget. Another new breath of development for Bing Bing this month was her ability to ask this question that made us all speechless:
"Mommy, this is my Daddy, this is not your Daddy. Where's your Daddy?"
"Ong Phong is my Daddy, dear." I answered.
"Ba Binh is your Mommy or Daddy's Mommy?" - She asked. We went speechless. How could a 2 year old ask such a difficult question involving a very complex relationship?
One last thing that has been very handy for me. Bing Bing has now understood the concept of before and after. For toddler it was impossible to grasp this simple concept. For them there is only NOW or NEVER. That's why when they want something they've gotta have it now. If it's not now it means never. So they cry no matter how hard the parents explain "you can have ice cream after dinner".
"I have my rice first and I have my sua chua okay Mommy?" - YES! She's got it.
"I sleep now and I see Elsa and Anna later okay Mommy?" - Couldn't ask for more!
It's so much easier now to make a deal and explain to Bing Bing what needs to happen first before something else can happen. She really gets it!
It was truly amazing to witness and experience Bing Bing's new level of development and knowledge. She's started asking questions like "What is this Mommy?" and while I'm excited that she asked I'm nervous that in no time it's going to be real challenging to fulfil her curious mind :)
A proud mother
Wednesday, 5 August 2015
Month 29: Friends
Bing Bing, as per her teacher, was one of the most popular
kids at her kindergarten. This might be attributed to the fact that she was
always the smallest at school; she was cute, friendly and super caring. I assumed
that all the kids would play and mingle together and there would be no “close
friends” at this stage of toddler development.
But…I was wrong!
Alex was quite close to Mona, a warm-hearted Romanian
teacher at Bing Bing’s kindergarten, and they could talk for hours about the
kids. One day, Mona asked me “Alan, do you know Finn from our class?”
Of course I know Finn. His parents drove a shiny Jeep SUV
which often blocked my driveway in the morning. Finn knew me, too. I vividly remembered
seeing him jump out of the car and pointed his little finger towards me, saying
“Mommy, that’s Margaret’s father”. I had the impression that Finn was a sociable and well-groomed kid. As such, he was very memorable to me. So I told Mona “Of
course I do. What’s the matter?”
“Finn will only come to our kindergarten three days per week
starting next month. His mother told me his number one concern is that he will
not be able to play with Margaret”, said Mona.
“Oh, they are good friends, aren’t they?” I asked
“Yes, Finn and Margaret are really really close. They
play together; they read together, they eat together. Finn is really protective
of Margaret as well. I can see they are developing into a very special
friendship” – Mona answered and smiled. “Finn’s mom suggested that you should
organize a playdate so that the kids can play together”.
“That sounds great.”
I then got in touch with Finn’s mom and she wrote my number
on a sticker note and put it on her fridge. Finn’s family just came back from a
short trip to Samoa and Rene would organize the playdate very soon. She told me
that Finn didn’t let anyone touch the sticker note with my number as he was
afraid that his mother might forget about the playdate…At this stage, I knew that Bing Bing had a close friend –
Finn.
Three weeks ago, we invited my parents to visit Bing Bing’s
kindergarten and my mum taught them how to make Vietnamese spring rolls. Sally,
the Manager, told us her story with such a great excitement.
“I can’t believe that Margaret has been with us for 3
months. You know she already had a buddy
right?” – said Sally
I was about to answer “Yes, it gotta be Finn” in a very cool
I-knew-it-already manner, and Sally’s next sentence almost got me tumble.
“Yes yes, it’s Matt ha ha. It was really funny. Matt
came back last week from his long holiday and I greeted him at the entrance. He
ignored me and, by the way, do you know what his first sentence was?” – said Sally
“Err, what did he ask you?” – Alex voiced up
“He asked me “Where’s Margaret?” – Sally said and giggled –
“And then he rushed into the room to find Margaret and they had great fun
building a tower together”.
I hardly knew Matt back then, and my impression of Matt was
not that strong. He was really shy and quiet when we ran into each other in the
hallway one morning.
I smiled whenever I thought of Bing Bing and her friends. A teacher at Bing Bing’s first kindergarten used to tell us
her observation that Bing Bing was really mature in her interaction with
friends. She would choose not to play with a kid who acted aggressively or unreasonably
towards his/her friends. That’s why I was really happy to see that Bing Bing could
make friends with other toddlers at school. For me, it meant that Bing Bing was
put in a friendly environment in which toddlers knew how to play with and
respect each other. More importantly, as Finn and Matt were having different personalities,
it was really important for Bing Bing to appreciate such difference between her
two best friends. In the long run, this would help Bing Bing develop her
self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
“If you take kids to a
playgroup, you'll find two children who just naturally gravitate toward each
other”
Marilyn Segal, American development psychologist
Sunday, 2 August 2015
Month 29: "Be kind and have courage"
5pm I was already on a bus to pick up Bing Bing. When I got there, for a moment I was horrified when I heard a screaming voice blended with tears coming from where Bing Bing was standing. It was Sienna's:
"That's not my Mommy! That's Margaret's Mommy! Oh no... where's my Mommy?"
If it was a normal day, Bing Bing would have run to me, greeted me with her biggest smile, given me her warmest hug and her most gentle kiss. That day she gave me a quickest hug and her most hurried kiss. She was having a concern - Sienna, her friend was crying.
Bing Bing rushed back beside Sienna. She gave Sienna a long hug. She patted on Sienna's shoulder. She bent down to the level that Sienna was sitting. Bing Bing showed her most concerned face and sweetly asked:
"Are you okay Sienna? Do you need anything? Here you go, do you want to read a book?"
Vanessa - their teacher showed up and gave Sienna comfort. Vanessa couldn't help noticing the act of kindness that Bing Bing had showed.
"Margaret, that's very kind of you to care for your friend Sienna. Thank you. You're such a sweetie, sweetheart."
I was very pleased to see that. In fact, I have noticed that act of kindness from Bing Bing in many situations. Before I could make a comment, Vanessa turned to me:
"I think Margaret can make a wonderful doctor!"
"Oh? How so?" - I puzzled.
"Margaret is a highly independent child. She likes to concentrate doing her own work most of the time. But if there's a situation arising - a child crying, a kid screaming, a friend falling, Margaret is always the first to stop her work, come to her friend, show her empathy and provide comfort. Until the child has calmed down, Margaret gets back to her work quickly."
"That's definitely something that I've picked up from Margaret too. She was playing by herself with great focus. When she heard me chopping chicken loudly on the chopping board, she ran to the kitchen and asked me to be careful before she continued with her playing." - I happily added.
"Absolutely. She's developed a sense, an act and a quality of kindness and empathy that's very mature for her age. We're all very impressed and Margaret is one of the most popular kids here because of that. She is well loved by all her friends!" - Vanessa continued.
From that day on, I continued to observe Bing Bing. I often even created situations to explore how she would react. She never failed - kindness is really embedded in this child. She never leave anyone alone when they are in pain, in need or in misery. Sometimes she just automatically helped adults and kids who just dropped something on the ground, who was trying to get something near her etc. She sacrifices her own wants, needs and priorities to attend care for others. That is a very difficult thing to do even for adults, as especially difficult for a toddler whose sole purpose is to get what they want. I am happy but also concerned. A tiny thought came to my mind - will her friends be kind to Bing Bing as well? - what happens if a child is aggressive towards Bing Bing?
It took a little longer for me to find out. We went to Alan's colleague's house one day for a play date. Lucy was a 3 year old girl who didn't spend much time in childcare. She was not particularly sociable and friendly as a result (that's just my guess). But Lucy had one of the most amazing indoor slides. They were both excited to get on but Lucy didn't seem to understand the concept of taking turns - one of the most important concepts that children have to learn in kindergarten! Lucy kept pushing Bing Bing and I thought that my kind little girl would just give in but Bing Bing stopped Lucy and said this pretty loudly:
"Hey! Hey! No pushing okay! Don't push me!" - Bing Bing was annoyed.
That was a very pleasant surprise for me and Alan - not quite so pleasant for Lucy's parents.
Lucy still didn't get it. I guess this concept does take a lot of time to master!
"HEY! NO PUSHING! IT'S MY TURN! GO AWAY!" - Bing Bing was really pissed.
I didn't want to make the situation awkward so I explained to Bing Bing that Lucy didn't go to a kindergarten, she was not used to having friends and sharing toys with others and that maybe Bing Bing could find something else to play and give Lucy some time playing with the slide by herself. Bing Bing could come back in a short while once Lucy's finished playing.
Bing Bing decided to go off and play with Lucy's sister - a 10-month-old baby. Bing Bing had a great time!
Yesterday, Bing Bing was in a music class, she was sitting in the teacher's chair with so much pride. A 3 year old girl, Reeya, approached Bing Bing showing her interest in the teacher's chair. Bing Bing moved her bottom to one side and patted her hand down on the other - suggesting that they both share the chair. For some reason Bing Bing got out of the chair to climb back up again but Reeya saw an opportunity and sat down on the chair quickly - claiming the whole seat.
Alan and I were watching from afar and thought "Oh, Bing Bing is going to get her "Hey! Hey!" at the girl now, isn't she?". Surprisingly, Bing Bing smiled at the girl (who just took her seat!). Bing Bing ran to an electric socket on the wall, about 2 metres away and started exploring. Reeya was watching and following Bing Bing to see what she was looking at. Once Reeya reached the socket and kneeled down, Bing Bing picked up her fastest running speed back to the chair and claim the seat with a biggest smile at Reeya. - Điệu hổ Ly sơn??
"Man! She's one clever girl! Awesome tactics to problem solve this situation" - Alan exclaimed next to me (whose mouth was wide open).
I remember one saying "Don't take my kindness as coward-ness!" and Bing Bing has showed me just that. Now my worries have gone. I know for a fact that Bing Bing has both, like Cinderella's mother once said to her child "Be kind and have courage". Something I have to learn too.
A proud mother :)
"That's not my Mommy! That's Margaret's Mommy! Oh no... where's my Mommy?"
If it was a normal day, Bing Bing would have run to me, greeted me with her biggest smile, given me her warmest hug and her most gentle kiss. That day she gave me a quickest hug and her most hurried kiss. She was having a concern - Sienna, her friend was crying.
Bing Bing rushed back beside Sienna. She gave Sienna a long hug. She patted on Sienna's shoulder. She bent down to the level that Sienna was sitting. Bing Bing showed her most concerned face and sweetly asked:
"Are you okay Sienna? Do you need anything? Here you go, do you want to read a book?"
Vanessa - their teacher showed up and gave Sienna comfort. Vanessa couldn't help noticing the act of kindness that Bing Bing had showed.
"Margaret, that's very kind of you to care for your friend Sienna. Thank you. You're such a sweetie, sweetheart."
I was very pleased to see that. In fact, I have noticed that act of kindness from Bing Bing in many situations. Before I could make a comment, Vanessa turned to me:
"I think Margaret can make a wonderful doctor!"
"Oh? How so?" - I puzzled.
"Margaret is a highly independent child. She likes to concentrate doing her own work most of the time. But if there's a situation arising - a child crying, a kid screaming, a friend falling, Margaret is always the first to stop her work, come to her friend, show her empathy and provide comfort. Until the child has calmed down, Margaret gets back to her work quickly."
"That's definitely something that I've picked up from Margaret too. She was playing by herself with great focus. When she heard me chopping chicken loudly on the chopping board, she ran to the kitchen and asked me to be careful before she continued with her playing." - I happily added.
"Absolutely. She's developed a sense, an act and a quality of kindness and empathy that's very mature for her age. We're all very impressed and Margaret is one of the most popular kids here because of that. She is well loved by all her friends!" - Vanessa continued.
From that day on, I continued to observe Bing Bing. I often even created situations to explore how she would react. She never failed - kindness is really embedded in this child. She never leave anyone alone when they are in pain, in need or in misery. Sometimes she just automatically helped adults and kids who just dropped something on the ground, who was trying to get something near her etc. She sacrifices her own wants, needs and priorities to attend care for others. That is a very difficult thing to do even for adults, as especially difficult for a toddler whose sole purpose is to get what they want. I am happy but also concerned. A tiny thought came to my mind - will her friends be kind to Bing Bing as well? - what happens if a child is aggressive towards Bing Bing?
It took a little longer for me to find out. We went to Alan's colleague's house one day for a play date. Lucy was a 3 year old girl who didn't spend much time in childcare. She was not particularly sociable and friendly as a result (that's just my guess). But Lucy had one of the most amazing indoor slides. They were both excited to get on but Lucy didn't seem to understand the concept of taking turns - one of the most important concepts that children have to learn in kindergarten! Lucy kept pushing Bing Bing and I thought that my kind little girl would just give in but Bing Bing stopped Lucy and said this pretty loudly:
"Hey! Hey! No pushing okay! Don't push me!" - Bing Bing was annoyed.
That was a very pleasant surprise for me and Alan - not quite so pleasant for Lucy's parents.
Lucy still didn't get it. I guess this concept does take a lot of time to master!
"HEY! NO PUSHING! IT'S MY TURN! GO AWAY!" - Bing Bing was really pissed.
I didn't want to make the situation awkward so I explained to Bing Bing that Lucy didn't go to a kindergarten, she was not used to having friends and sharing toys with others and that maybe Bing Bing could find something else to play and give Lucy some time playing with the slide by herself. Bing Bing could come back in a short while once Lucy's finished playing.
Bing Bing decided to go off and play with Lucy's sister - a 10-month-old baby. Bing Bing had a great time!
Yesterday, Bing Bing was in a music class, she was sitting in the teacher's chair with so much pride. A 3 year old girl, Reeya, approached Bing Bing showing her interest in the teacher's chair. Bing Bing moved her bottom to one side and patted her hand down on the other - suggesting that they both share the chair. For some reason Bing Bing got out of the chair to climb back up again but Reeya saw an opportunity and sat down on the chair quickly - claiming the whole seat.
Alan and I were watching from afar and thought "Oh, Bing Bing is going to get her "Hey! Hey!" at the girl now, isn't she?". Surprisingly, Bing Bing smiled at the girl (who just took her seat!). Bing Bing ran to an electric socket on the wall, about 2 metres away and started exploring. Reeya was watching and following Bing Bing to see what she was looking at. Once Reeya reached the socket and kneeled down, Bing Bing picked up her fastest running speed back to the chair and claim the seat with a biggest smile at Reeya. - Điệu hổ Ly sơn??
"Man! She's one clever girl! Awesome tactics to problem solve this situation" - Alan exclaimed next to me (whose mouth was wide open).
I remember one saying "Don't take my kindness as coward-ness!" and Bing Bing has showed me just that. Now my worries have gone. I know for a fact that Bing Bing has both, like Cinderella's mother once said to her child "Be kind and have courage". Something I have to learn too.
A proud mother :)
Sunday, 5 July 2015
Month 28: A warmest cold winter morning
7am
I was dreaming Bing Bing calling "Mama! Mamaaa!". It was getting louder and clearer. Sh!t it wasn't a dream. Bing Bing was calling me from her bedroom. That was how a day started.
"What is it, honey? You're up? Good morning."
" Good morning, Mommy" - She grins.
I ran from my bedroom to hers without much clothes on and it was a very cold winter day.
"It's so cold Bing Bing" - I pulled her blanket up my shoulders.
"Oh, are you cold Mommy? Am I cold Mommy?" - Her facial expression was serious.
"I'm a bit cold. But I think you're hot Bing Bing. Your heater was on the whole night."
"Yes I am hot, are you hot Mommy?" - She reached her tiny hand and placed it on my forehead.
"Now that you have examined me, do you think I'm hot Bing Bing?" I smiled.
"No, you're not hot Mommy. I am hot. Is Daddy hot too?" - She pointed at the door.
"I don't think he is. Actually he might even be cold."
"Daddy is cold. Are you tired Mommy?" She asked as I yawned.
"I am not tired Bing Bing. I am still sleepy I guess." I briefly closed my eyes.
"Oh, do you want to sleep on my bed? Lay down Mommy. Lay down here." She ordered while pushing me down onto her bed.
Bing Bing covered me with her favourite blanket. She pulled it down to cover both my feet. When only my head was exposed she gave me a big warm hug and murmurs:
"Are you still cold Mommy?"
"I think I'm getting warmer. Maybe just need one kiss to feel perfect." I tempted.
She leaned on and gave me a kiss on my lips.
Suddenly she went to her nightstand and grabbed a nappy.
"Do you want me to change your nappy Mommy?" Her eyes wide opened.
"No thank you darling. I don't need a nappy because I can go to the toilet."
"Oh, you want to go to the toilet now Mommy? Okay! Come!" She opened the door and dragged me to the toilet as she spoke.
"It's too cold Mommy" - She realised that only her room was warm enough to wear a night dress that she was wearing.
"I know, let's come back in Bing Bing.". She agreed.
As I changed her nappy and outfit, she asked
" I am hungry Mommy. Di an di thoi! Di an khoai lang di thoi!"
After Bing Bing brushed her teeth and cleaned her face all by herself, we went downstairs and Alan was preparing lunchboxes. Bing Bing had her usual favourite Kumara and she sang "Let it Go" from Frozen for about 10 times.
It was one of the longest conversations that we exchanged. It was warm and full of love and care. I cherished all conversations we had because I knew she only grows up once and I only grow old once.
Much love
Your Mommy
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