I walked to his room, picked him up and I looked at his little baby face...
He's perfect. He's mine. And he's here. At last.
I sang him a lullaby song that I sang to Bing Bing the first night we were home together.
He smiled with his eyes closed. Oh, I think a fairy has just been born - when a baby smiles for the first time.
It's only been two weeks since we both almost lost our lives yet I felt like we've been together for a life time...
Wednesday, 20 July 2016 - 11PM
Alan was unhappy that I was working too hard. It's 11 o'clock and I was still at my computer emailing customers. I was dead tired so I jumped onto bed with him. Alan already put on "The Good Wife" series as usual and we watched it together before going to bed. It was like our bedtime ritual to watch a couple of episodes to know that we do something together everyday no matter how hard the day's been.
I had these bad contractions and I thought it was Braxton Hicks like a couples days before. Alan timed them and damn it they were regular, every 9 minutes exactly, lasting for about 50 seconds. That night was the weirdest night of my life. Pain came every 5 minutes over and over again and nobody could help me but myself.
Thursday, 21 July 2016 - 12 noon
For 13 hours of contractions we finally met my midwife at the hospital. It was noon and I didn't remember anything else of those 13 hours but the constant anticipated pain that never failed to disappoint me. I was surprised that I handled it much better than I thought I would. I didn't make a single sound even though I had never been in so much pain in my entire life.
I was told I was dilated 3 cms. "What?! After 13 hours and 3 was all you gave me?!"
My midwife appraised me constantly of how well I was coping and how brave I was and that my threshold for pain was exceptional. I couldn't exactly make out any words she was saying, I was murmuring in my head "Baby we can do this baby..."
Thursday, 21 July 2016 - 6pm
I had been in labour for almost 20 hours now and dilated 6 cms. My contractions were so intense that midwife believed I should have been in delivery by then but things started to go wrong and later very wrong.
My temperature spiked up. A fever during labour suggested an obstructed labour.
My cervix was swollen and closed back up instead of dilating.
My baby boy's heart beat spiked up to almost 200, just like it happened with Bing Bing. My heart broke a little every time that Doppler machine made a sound. He was in distress, just like Bing Bing. My worst nightmare was happening all over again like de javu.
After consultation with the doctors we decided that an emergency C section was our best option as my fever continued to rise. But the wait for an OR was 3 hours.
Thursday, 21 July 2016 - 9pm
8pm. Something went wrong I could feel it. I buzzed the bell three times and every time the doctors told me the same thing "There's so sign of critical conditions yet and we should be moving to a theatre in a couple of hours." My midwife insisted that everything was on track and that I shouldn't be worried. I kept on telling Alan that I felt something wrong in my stomache and that our little one had been kicking frantically for the last hour. I could feel he was not able to wait for any longer.
The last bell - a crew of doctors who just came out of an operation checked me out. The doctor name was Mahesh and he asked that we moved to an OR straight away. They injected a high dose of epidural, ran ice against my skin to make sure I couldn't feel anything from the chest down. Since the nerves for pain are the same nerves for feeling cold, my body misunderstood and I started to shiver and shake like never before.
Alan was sitting right next to me, holding my shaking arms and he gently leaned to my ears and whispered "It's going to be okay. We'll meet him very soon. Just hang on." I started to feel dizzy and things get blurry with all the lights and the noises. Minutes later, I finally heard him crying. My tears just ran down my cheeks uncontrollably. I thought this nightmare was over.
Suddenly everything went really quiet. Doctors sent a really long time closing me up. Baby wasn't crying any more. Somebody said "Baby's got trouble breathing. Send him to NICU now."
No comments:
Post a Comment