My sweet little girl is 3

I loved it when she was 1. I loved it more when she turned 2. And now she is 3 - she's turned into a sweetest baby girl in the whole world.

She'd talked about her 3rd birthday about months before her birthday. She said she'd buy lots of flowers for Mommy. She would love a birthday cake and a birthday dress. On her birthday, she got multiple nasty insect bites on her face, one nastiest bite on her left eye that made her so miserable. But that didn't stop my birthday girl to be the centre of the universe. She had one birthday party at home with our adult friends and one birthday party at school. Everyone sang her the birthday song and at night she hums that tune for so long until she fell asleep.

Winter is approaching. Bing Bing got pretty sick over the last week. She got a very sore throat and spoke in a man's voice. She got a high fever every 8 hours. She was crying when she got a temperature but she was the sweetest little one when it's gone. That ached my heart so much to see her suffering from this virus.

Bing Bing and I spent a whole day together yesterday. I could feel that both our hearts and souls were filled up with love and contentment. We read books together, we played puzzles together, we danced together, we cooked together and watched Jurassic World together. She was such a brave girl. She loved action movies, especially with those dinosaurs. She asked me about what was happening and why it happened the way it did every 3 minutes which was adorable. I answered every question she had and it was amazing how much she could understand.

She made lunch for us. Yes, she cooked carrots and broccoli, she cooked chicken wings and she used chopsticks pretty well. I was impressed by my little one throughout the day. We did a puzzle about the four seasons in a year. She saw pumpkins in autumn and said "Mommy I touched a pumpkin yesterday in the flower zoo! It was too big you can't eat it." I was thinking "What flower zoo? When did you touch a big pumpkin?" But I remembered. We went to Hamilton Garden over the weekend where I took a picture of her with 4-5 large pumpkins and I asked her to touch one of them. "Flower zoo... That's clever and funny." I thought to myself and I loved her ability to connect the dots, all the events together. That's how much a baby's brain wired up. Amazing.

Bing Bing loved Teeda. She named him the moment she got the news. She pressed her ears on my tummy and listened to Teeda kicking everyday. "Did you hear anything Bing Bing? Is he sleeping?" I asked. "No Mommy, Teeda wakes up. He kicks BUM BUM BUM like the fireworks in the sky. I hear it." Oh yes, there was a hot air balloon festival in Hamilton last weekend and we took her to see the fireworks. Again, she connected the dots.

Bing Bing often talked about how she would take care of Teeda, that she would feed him so he'd grow bigger and bigger, that she would bathe him, change him, read to him, teach him how to swim and everything that she loves doing. But she always bargained with me that she wanted a brother AND a sister. Bing Bing has a biggest heart that is full with love and understanding. She would be an amazing big sister I'm sure of it. That gives me pleasure to think about our third baby. I hoped it'd be a girl so Bing Bing had her wish.

Teeda has been kicking so so much, sometimes so hard that I jumped and screamed out. I can't wait to meet him and introduce the two of them to each other and start to see their relationship develops.

Alex

Month 35-36: Passion is to be found

We are 10 days away from Bing Bing’s 3^rd birthday. Alex told me the other day that there was some interesting tennis class for toddlers which should be quite fun. After some discussion, we decided that she would not learn something too specific at this stage of development. Instead, we would like to expose Bing to as many fun activities as possible, so that she could continue to experience new things and gradually form her own interests and tastes.

Music

Bing Bing listened to various artists, e.g. Adele, Alicia Keys, Taylor Swift, and Michael Jackson to name a few. Adele was her favorite artist at the moment. Besides, she especially liked songs with strong beat as she could either dance along or “shake it off”. Of course, it was still too early for Bing Bing to fully understand all the lyrics. However, I was amazed to see that she could feel the emotions expressed in the songs. One day she was listening to “Someone like you” by Adele and she told me “Daddy, Adele is a bit upset”. We also bought music CDs in different languages for Bing Bing. She listened to her Spanish CD so often that she actually remembered the lyrics and rhythm. One day we were in the car and there was an Italian song playing on the radio. Bing Bing listened intensely and then queried “I don’t understand this song. It is not Spanish”.

Dance

Bing Bing surely had some happy feet. She could either dance or jump around non-stop whenever her favorite music was on. However, it should be noted that, like driving, she danced to the conditions (of the floor). During Christmas, we went to a colleague’s house and all the kids danced happily, except my little one. Erm, this was not usual at all – so I asked her “You are not dancing honey. What’s happening?”. Bing Bing looked at me blankly and said “It’s not soft Daddy”. Oh yeah, now it made sense. Bing Bing only loved to dance and roll on the premium carpet floor that was installed at our new home right before Christmas. The carpet she was standing on at that time was no match for ours J.

Sports

I quite like a quote about passion “Passion comes from a special fit between an activity and a person. You can't force that fit; it has to be found”. This was especially true in sports and Bing Bing was allowed to explore multiple types of sports on her own. Recently, I joined another badminton club in North Shore and they played from 7pm to 10pm every Saturday. We had brought Bing Bing along twice so that she could watch the games and play with my spare racquet. She had great fun playing outside the courts and quickly caught up with the rules. Bing Bing explained to Alex “When the bell rings, all the children (FYI - she meant my club members) stop playing Mommy”. I loved it even more when she spoke to me in Vietnamese the next day “Ba oi, ba huong dan Bing Bing choi cau long nhe” (i.e. Daddy, can you please teach me how to play badminton?”). Two weeks ago, Alex found a kids’ martial art class for Bing Bing, in which they taught Choi Kwang Do. This school of martial art was more flexible than Taekwondo and the teacher told Bing Bing and her classmates on the first day that "Remember, the only place that you can fight is within this class". Bing Bing talked about martial art all day now and she kept stressing the point that “Daddy, it’s not fighting OK”. We planned to bring Bing Bing to Alex's table tennis club soon so that she could experience another game. 

Food

Bing Bing’s default answer to any sort of new food is “No I don’t want it”, combined with multiple head-shaking. That was why we needed to eagerly encourage her to try new stuff every time. “Please try it first honey” – said Alex, “You can always spit it out if you really don’t like it. But you need to try”. That worked well for us, and I realized that Bing Bing rarely spat anything out after trying. We went to the zoo quite often and some animal stories were quite helpful when it came to food. Bing Bing’s favourite zoo animals were Buma the Elephant, giraffe, seal and tiger/ cheetah. I often reminded her about the tiger “Do you know why the tiger is strong Bing Bing? Because it eats a lot of meat” when I wanted her to have some more protein.

About Teeda…

It took me quite a while to come up with the name Bing Bing when Alex was pregnant back in 2013. This time, I asked Bing Bing to name her little brother/sister and she instantly came up with the name of Teeda. We went for a 20-week pregnancy scan this morning and the doctor told that everything was beautifully normal. She also confirmed that Teeda would be a little boy and this part of the story actually made me a bit nervous. I would need to read more and learn how to raise a son now. The way Teeda kicked Mom’s belly was totally different from that of Bing Bing – and I assumed that was a hint about his personality being different from Bing Bing's. Bing Bing went in the scan room with me and she was really excited to see Teeda moving on the screen. However, Bing Bing had always said she wanted Teeda to be a girl and her denial mode was on even after the doctor had already confirmed otherwise. Bing Bing took a profile picture of Teeda for her “Show and Tell” today; and she told her dear teacher Andrea that “Teeda is a girl. But I want a brother and a sister”. 

I cannot wait to celebrate Bing Bing's 3rd birthday. She's grown so much during the past year and we are so looking forward to the next. 

Month 34: The incredible Christmas

It's now end of January 2016 and I had to post a long overdue entry.

Honestly I just don't know where to begin because so much has happened and it's all a bit overwhelming for me, even up til now.

Let's start with December 2nd...

Alan was looking for a higher position at his firm. He sent me a list of all the opening positions they had at the time. Glancing through the list I noticed three positions were highlighted by him. They were one, two and three levels above his.

In the next couple of hours I received several emails from Alan. He seemed to favour the middle one - two levels above his. As his wife, I knew he was going for a challenge 'seems-to-be' option but in fact he needed some confidence to go for the highest position. So I gave him what he needed: self-assurance - something I sometimes have in abundance.

I almost forgot what it's like to apply for a job in a bank (!):
1. He had an informal meeting with the hiring manager. He submitted the god-damn lengthy application online with a CV and a cover letter.

2. Alan did three tests: numerical, logical reasoning and a personality one if my memory serves me right. I remember those tests were driving me crazy that evening as they took 3 hours from 9pm to midnight for him to finish. The personality test itself had almost 400 freaking questions that sounded exactly the same to me but apparently they carried tiny differences in meaning and that tiny differences make all the difference in the overall results (?)

3. Alan was then invited to a formal interview with the hiring manager that lasted for like two hours at lunch time. He was totally starved.

4. That's not it, round two was an interview with the boss of the boss of the hiring manager (I think) whose profile was like... unspeakable. Alan was a bit nervous with this one (who wouldn't?). Once again I gave him what he needed: confidence.

5. The last meeting was easy, again an informal meeting just for the hiring manager to give Alan some feedback, break the news of the job offer and talk about figures.

Alan called me when I was on the bus picking up Bing Bing.

"Hello baby, so just finished my meeting with Jerry..."

"And???" I couldn't wait.

"He gave me some very good feedback..."

"And???" (Come on Alan!)

"Oh and he offered me the job"

"Yay! I knew it. And???" (You know where I'm getting at Alan, to the point, to the point!)

"Guess." He was smiling at the other end I could feel it.

I could never guess it. It was totally out of my range. I remember myself either screaming or laughing out loud on the bus when he finally told me.

It's also the day I went for my first scan. I was 6.5 weeks pregnant. Oh if you could imagine the joy.



December 8th...

We bought a new house. Wait... What? (Yes, like a dream I know). We had been to about 30-40 open homes. We finally found our dream home in November and went for it without a single thought. The best primary school for Bing Bing. It's situated by a Kauri reserve and next to a bay. We could see the beach and the forest on our drive way. I could hear nothing but the birds. It's really a sanctuary of calm whenever I get home after a long hard day at work. It's got a huge garden that I always dreamed of for Bing Bing. It's got five bedrooms for our family to grow.

That week we had two exams as part of our PhD degrees. I just wanted to jot it down before all things fade. It was one of the most hard working week of our lives. We were preparing for Alan's interview. We were studying for our exams. We were working with the banks and our lawyers to sort out the settlement for the house. I was facing down the toilet three times a day with my morning sickness that seemed to last the entire day. I remember we just finished our three hour exam on December 11th and waiting for us outside the exam room was our carpet dealer bringing samples for us to pick out a colour for our new carpet. I had to throw up before I could meet her...

December 12th...
One day after our last exam, we moved in the new house. That sounded simple enough but moving house is never a simple task and we (mostly Alan) did it in one day. The whole house was packed and moved. Even with some help from our friends, we were exhausted after all that was happening. First night at our new house was incredible. Probably one of the best sleeps I'd had in months.

December 18th...
My mum came to visit. Well again that sounded simple enough but applying for her visa was a lot of work and hiccups but finally she was here. That's also when our 4 week Christmas break began.

Vietnamese
I spoke Vietnamese to Bing Bing all the time. Bing Bing went to daycare when she was about 4 months old. She started speaking English when she was 16 months old. Since then it didn't matter how hard I tried, her brain worked like a ping pong table. Whatever Vietnamese balls I hit at her, she responded in English instantly without pause. She spoke one or two words in Vietnamese but only because she didn't know the word in English. I was so disappointed. I couldn't understand how other kids in a bilingual environment like Bing Bing could speak both languages, especially Chinese kids. I began to think perhaps Bing Bing went to childcare a bit too early? Maybe I'm doing something wrong I don't know. I just had to keep it up and speak Vietnamese to her.

But in December, she was 33 months old and all of the sudden, yes, that's very expression, all of the sudden, she spoke fluent Vietnamese and Vietnamese only to us at home. How did that happen? All my hard work paid off? Oh my god, all the words I never thought she knew, all the right expressions she used, it's just too sweet for my ears to hear my baby speak my language, it's like we finally understood each other in every way possible. I couldn't be more proud (even more proud than her successful toilet training :)). She speaks fluent English at school and fluent Vietnamese at home. She even speaks Spanish when she listens to Spanish songs. She is learning Spanish at school. I'm like "Really? Are you a dream come true?" She truly is.

Music
Bing Bing has been fonder and fonder each day of Adele. Yes I'm talking about the British singer with Grammys and Oscar. She particularly loves the song "Set fire to the rain". She listens to Adele every single day, at home, in the car. She watches her DVD over and over again. She notices every single move. She distinguishes every single musical instrument: piano, violin, guitar, drums, and even banjo. She loves the song "If it hadn't been for love" because she loves banjo. She dances when songs are up beat. She sits down and looks totally down when it's a break-up song. She listens to the lyrics word by word, memorises them and she sings her favourite songs perfectly.
She often asks me "Mommy, why is Adele so upset?". I don't know what to say but tell her the truth "Because she has lost someone she loves." I'm not sure if she got it but I like telling her the truth and let her think about it.

Bing Bing has also grown fondness of Alicia Keys. She particularly loves the song "Girl on Fire". Seems like her favourite songs all involve some sort of fire element. She jumps on the piano, plays and sings at the same time like Alicia Keys. It was breathless to watch such passion from such a little girl. She was indeed the 'Girl on Fire" when it comes to music.

Role-play
Bing Bing has grown so fast now that I couldn't keep up. She reads a lot of books and she loves doing role-play. Like this evening, she had a paper cut when reading books. She lied down and pretended to be Martin - girl in one of the books who had a bike accident, broke her leg and had to see a doctor.

"Doctor, I am hurt, please give me a massage." She spoke to me in Vietnamese
"Here is it hurt? What about here? Is it hurt?" I replied just like the doctor in her book while pretending to examine her legs and arms.
"No... No... Yes... I hurt my finger". She replied.
"What happened?" I showed my concern.
"I was reading a book and the paper hurt me". She answered
"I see, it's a papercut. Here is a band aid" I replied
"Oh thank you Dr. I need milk and some massage please" She requested
"Oh no more milk, I will have to go buy some for the baby" She's now playing a role of "be Mi" - a girl from another book who was so brave to go out and buy milk for her baby brother when mommy was cooking.  She ran to my Mum and said:
"Please sell me some milk. Thank youuuu". She rushed back and asked me to lay down like a baby and she fed me with a smile.

Like that we did the whole play for like 10 times before she agreed to go to bed. She said goodnight to me "Bye doctor" and to my Mum "Bye Milk Seller" all in Vietnamese!

There are so much more of her that I want to capture here. Maybe for some other times as it is getting late. I started to feel a bit guilty that I didn't write any blogs about this pregnancy like I did for Bing Bing. I'm just too busy and too tired I guess. Work has been really full on as well. Oh by the way Alan and I passed our two exams we sat in December given total number of hours we spent on studying those two papers was like 5 - what a month. We now can start... writing a thesis. Yeah, I know, PhD is like an endless journey to misery :))

I have my family. With it, I can do anything. See? My self-assurance in abundance ;))

Month 32: Reasoning

It's now November. A lovely time of year when there's anticipation of the holiday season coming up and a sudden rain after a nice warm weekend.

It has been a wonderful month with huge achievements for Bing Bing. She has now successfully toilet trained. Oh I thought this day would never come...

I've been trying and trying for god knows how long. I heard and seen other kids are successfully toilet trained when they're like 19 months, 22 months, 26 months and what not. I became a little impatient with Bing Bing though I knew she wasn't ready. We had many painful accidents and it was going nowhere. Bing Bing just didn't get it even though she repeated every time "I want to go to the potty" when I asked "Next time, when you want to go pee pee, what are you gonna say to me?"

One afternoon, she was crying endlessly which was very unlike her. Alan and I couldn't figure out why she was crying so angrily. About 5 minutes later there was an accident and we realised she finally wanted to tell us that she wanted to go to pee. We just couldn't get it and she was too shy to tell us straight up.

From that afternoon onwards, she tells us every single time she wants to go to the potty. Almost no accident. At school it took one (long hard) day for her to be fully trained after that. I thought I had never been so happy. Good bye nappies and nappy rash.

Every morning she wakes up, goes to the toilet, does her pee, wipes her bottom, flushes the toilet, pulls up her undies and pants, washes her hands, brushes her teeth and gets ready for breakfast. I couldn't ask for me. It was like a dream in no time. She has finally grown, really grown up at 2.5 years old.

Bing Bing has also made a huge achievement in her speaking. She now reasons and explains. She doesn't just talk and repeat. She clearly explains and expresses herself with 'reasons'.

"Mom, I don't want to go to sleep now because I want to go downstairs with Daddy. You go to sleep now because you are tired otay?"

"Mom, what is Partha doing? What is he cooking? His noodles are very spicy and yucky. I don't like it. Do you like it Mommy?"

"Mom, what is Christmas? what is friendly? Am I a friendly girl?"

"Mom, you're not a boy because you're a girl, like me."

"Mom, you drive the car so Daddy can seat with me."

"Mom, don't drive the car, it's Daddy's, Daddy's on the bus to pick me up."

"No, I don't want to ăn khoai, I want to eat some soup please. It's yummy."


It has been a tsunami of conversations like that. One morning, Bing Bing wakes up before us and knocks on our door.

"Mommy, Daddy, can I come in with you guys?"

"Otay dear. Come on in. Hop on the bed, it's pretty cold." She lied down between us and says:

"Actually Daddy, it is about my biscuits. Actually where is my biscuit? Can I have my biscuits?"

She remembered that about a week before she gave Alan a bag of biscuits for him to hold on while she played. She never got it back...

Another afternoon she was wondering around the neighbourhood, leaving us at the door and said:

"Guys, wait for me here otay? I'll be right back."

"Guys, stop following me. I want to go by myself, where're your manners?"

Oh yes, the most popular saying these days is "No, I want to do it all by myself" and yes she does almost everything by herself. She washes the dishes every day. She of course eats by herself, reads by herself, plays by herself, takes off puts on clothes by herself, cutting, spreading butter on toasts by herself and how can I not mention, she does toilet by herself. She loves it. "I did it, Mommy! I did it all by myself". She says that with her proudest smile of all. I'm a proud mother.

I was telling her that a baby is growing inside my tummy and that she soon will have a real baby in her arms to hug, to kiss and to love. She understands it right away. She kisses and hugs my tummy where she thinks the baby is. She called the baby 'dida'. She asked me if dida can play for a while in her tummy too. She was screaming on top of her lung knowing that there's a baby coming. I was so very happy to see that. After more than a year of struggling to conceive the little baby is now within me. Bing Bing will have a little brother and sister that she's been longing for a while now. I could tell she was ready so long ago. It's gonna be great. I pray.

Month 31: A tiny giant

Gosh, it's already October. Winter has passed. Daylight saving has kicked in. Flowers are blooming everywhere. Oh... speaking of flowers, did I tell you that we have a little Maggie's garden going on at the moment. We have chilli, tomato, lettuce, roses, mints, lavenders, spring onions... you name it. Bing Bing is spending hours in her little garden rearranging all the pots, watering all the plants and asking all sorts of questions:

"What do you like about this one, Mommy?" - She picked up one of the spring onion pots.

"Erm, I like it because it's edible." - Ha, good answer Mommy I thought.

"E..di..ble...? Because it's edible?" - She puzzled.

"Yes, it means I can eat it."

"What about this one, Mommy? What do you like about this one?" - She picked up... another spring onion pot.

"Erm, I like it because it's fresh." - Ha good word good word Mommy I thought.

"Because it's fresh. Mommy likes it fresh." - She repeats. I knew she was sticking all the vocabs to her brain.

"What about this one, why do you like it?" - She picked up a pot of lettuce.

"What about you, why do you like it Bing Bing? - I reverted.

"Oh, I like it because it's small and because it's green, Mommy" - She quickly answered.

"Very good expression, Bing Bing! You've made a very long and descriptive sentence. Well done."

It went on and on like that for almost an hour. She talked to the plants if they've had enough water. She said sorry to the flowers when she cut the old ones. She was a busy gardener who's genuinely cared for each of her plants. I was absolutely delighted to see that my investments flourished.

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My heart aches whenever I see Bing Bing caring for Paloma, a 6 month old baby at her kindy, or Jordan, our 3-month-old sized baby doll. I knew that Bing Bing was ready to be a sister long ago. Perhaps she was ready before I was. She has a big heart to care for others whom she sees more fragile.

Whenever Bing Bing hears Paloma making any unpleasant noise or sneezing, she came straight to Paloma and asked

"Are you otay? Here, come, come to me." She asked as her hands gently moved over Palomar's hair and face.

Paloma was really happy that Bing Bing came over. She had a biggest smile as her thanks.

"She likes me, Mommy. She likes me." Bing Bing's face lighted up as she told me.

Same with Jordan, Bing Bing was riding her bike with Jordan at the front. She was checking every now and then to see if Jordan was alright. They went around and around for an hour or so.

"Mommy, I think Jordan is really really happy." Bing Bing looked up at me who was walking a few steps ahead.

"Oh, you think so?" I couldn't help smiling.

"Yes, I think so. And I am really happy too Mommy" She clearly responded.

"I am very happy that you both are happy, my dear" I kissed both of them in their foreheads.

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On Saturday, I was doing laundry. I was taking out dry clothes into a basket. It was full and rather heavy. Bing Bing was trying to lift up the basket for me but couldn't.

"It's too heavy for you Bing Bing. Let Mommy do it." I insisted.

"No, I can help you Mommy." She insisted more.

"Right. Right. We'll do it together." I compromised.

"Teamwork. I like it, Mommy" Bing Bing commented.

"Teamwork??" I asked.

"Yes, teamwork Mommy. I like teamwork." Bing Bing confirmed.

Bing Bing was also a very strict child to her parents. Sometimes I felt like our roles were somehow mixed up. You'll understand what I'm saying by reading the below. Surely those were said neither by Alan nor myself.

"Sit down on your bottom and I'll give it to you, Daddy."

"Sit down on your chair when you're eating, Daddy."

"Who's making the mess?"

"Excuse me, no talking Mommy. I am talking to Daddy."

"Mommy, eat your grapes!"

"Close your eyes Mommy. Go sleep. Good girl."

"Daddy, use your hands, don't use for feet!"

"You sit here Mommy. This is your chair. Don't sit on my chair."

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The first 1000 days are the most important time period for a person, in terms of brain and characters development. The brain grows at a speed that it would never match at any later stage. I always think if parents could spend 110% time and effort for their child's development in the first 3 years, they would need to spend less time and effort in the subsequent 3 years, and if they do it right, the time and effort needed would be less and less as time goes by and the child would still be the best they could be. That's successful parenting to me.

Month 30: Guess how much I miss you

"Where's Daddy? I like Daddy! I want Daddy! Let's pick up Daddy, Mommy!"

That's the first thing she said in the morning and the last thing she said at night for the last two weeks. Alan's in Australia.

After a week and a half of repeating myself to Bing Bing "Daddy's away my dear. He's back on Saturday", Bing Bing started to revise her statements every morning and night:

"Daddy's not home Mommy. Mommy's here. Daddy's coming home on Saturday. Today's Monday. There's Tuesdays, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Daddy's home on Saturday Mommy."

"Since when could you name all the days of a week??" She took me by surprised.

"It's only Monday Mommy. Daddy's home on Saturday on a plane" Her eyes were wide open.

"How did you know Daddy's flying back on a plane??" My eyes were wide open!

"Daddy's on a plane. Vewwww flying on a plane Mommy. Daddy's not home. Mommy's here. Mommy nằm, Bing Bing nằm"

Bing Bing's a very sensitive baby since forever. She asked me to lie down with her for a little longer before she goes to sleep - just to feel a bit more secured when Daddy's not around.

One day I brought three chocolate golden coins home from a London shop on Queen Street for Bing Bing. They were lovely shiny golden chocolate coins with different sizes. Bing Bing absolutely fell in love with those. After careful consideration, Bing Bing opened the smallest one for herself and ate up

"It's so yum, Mommy! Thank you!"

"You're welcome, what about these two chocolate coins?"

"Umm, you eat this big one." - She gave the largest coin to me.

"Cool, thanks, what about this last one, shall we give it to Daddy when he's back tomorrow?"

"Yes!! This chocolate is Daddy's. I'll give it to him when he's home tomorrow." - Her eyes lit up like stars.

After about 2 minutes, "Mommy, can you open this chocolate for me. I want to eat it!"

"I thought this was Daddy's and you're giving it to him tomorrow when you see him?"

"Yes, this is Daddy's but I want it Mommy"

"I think Daddy would love it if you give it to him. Shall we wait until tomorrow, I'm sure he'll let you eat it anyway darling."

"Okay, I'll give it to him tomorrow"

After about another 2 minutes, "Can I open this Mommy?"

"Bing Bing, you want to eat it now or you want to keep it for Daddy?"

"I... I want to eat it."

"Are you sure you don't want to give it Daddy?"

"Okay, I'll give it to Daddy. Daddy likes chocolate like me." She smiled.

About three very similar conversations like that happened in a span of ten minutes. Every time Bing Bing ended up saving it for her Daddy. Finally we decided to put it away so it's not too tempting.

It was a huge development for a toddler as little as Bing Bing to learn to resist presented temptation. I remember reading a book talking about an experiment with young toddlers. They each were presented with a chocolate bar. They were told that they could either eat it now and that's it or wait for 10 minutes and they'd have two chocolate bars to eat. Only so very few toddlers manage to understand and exercise the concept of resisting temptation in exchange for a larger reward. It's then proven that later on those did wait for two chocolate bars did exceptionally well in school and out.

It's now two days since Bing Bing last skyped with her Daddy, simply because we were too busy.

"Mommy, let's call him. Do you want to talk to him?"

The moment Bing Bing saw her Daddy on the phone, she reached out her wide open arms and said

"Bần nà, bần nà Daddy" (Pick me up and carry me Daddy)

She turned to me and said

"I can't touch him, Mommy. I can't reach Daddy." - Sobbed.

They talked and talked. Very often I saw Bing Bing kissed the phone screen. She loved her Daddy so dearly. She sobbed when saying goodbye to Alan but she always slept very well the nights they talked.

Bing Bing's a really sensitive toddler. The first morning Alan left, Bing Bing was up from 3am and didn't fall back asleep. She struggled. She asked for milk. She asked for books. She asked for play dough. She was just looking for something to comfort her. That's how she got so attached to Jordan - our baby doll. Bing Bing insisted on carrying Jordan everywhere she went. Jordan was not allowed to be out of sight.

Friday night, I took Bing Bing to a pub for a colleague's leaving farewell drinks. Bing Bing was upset after about five minutes

"I don't want to be here Mommy. I want to go home with Daddy. Where's Daddy. Daddy's home today."

"He's on a plane flying home at the moment my dear. You'll see him in the morning okay?"

"I want to go home Mommy. I don't like it here."

She knew Alan was coming home. She just wanted to be home waiting for Daddy.

Now every time we mentioned Saturday, Bing Bing jumped up and hugged Daddy

"No no, Daddy, stay home don't go..." She sobbed.

It was heart breaking to see Bing Bing going through a little trauma like that. During the two weeks Alan went away, Bing Bing kissed me more often. She said she loved her Mommy more often. She took care of me the way a child could. I took care of her the way a mother did. We were best friends who comfort each other in the absence of our man. It was really special.

Now that Alan's back. She was screaming in happiness all morning with biggest grins on the face. Her heart is now full.

Month 29: A new breath of development

7am on a Saturday morning...

I gently opened the curtains in Bing Bing's room. Slowly the sun rays went through the window and filled the whole room with sunshine.

Bing Bing laughed so happily when she saw the sun lights:

"Look! Look! Mommy look! I can see the lights!"

She went on and on about the sun and the lights until we got to our car making our way to her music class. Bing Bing suddenly explained:

"Mommy! When the sun wakes up, the moon goes to sleep! I can't see the moon when the sun wakes up. The stars also go to sleep."

Alan and I were shocked. Since when could she make such long sentences and since when could she make such beautiful expression of a natural event? Bing Bing now understood the concept of reocurrence.

Auckland in August is moody. It rains in a blink of an eye before the sun shines all around and rains again without much warning. Bing Bing was playing puzzles in our living room when it started to rain.

"What are you doing near the window, Bing Bing?"

"I'm seeing the rain"

I took her up to her room for changing. As a wonderful observant she was, she looked out her window and puzzled:

"It's raining here too Mommy?!"

"When it rains I can't see the lights Mommy" - Bing Bing continued before I could explain. What a great observation I thought. She must have remembered the sun lights going through her window in the morning.

"That's right Bing Bing. Maybe the sun is taking a nap when it rains."

Bing Bing's facial expression was priceless. One curious child she was. She now was able to make connection between events. She is connecting the dots...

Alan and I have been teaching Bing Bing a variety of opposites. You know, old-new, empty-full, tall-short etc. She's been doing so great with those concepts through puzzles and comparisons. It's much easier teaching opposite concepts. It's a lot harder to teach something in between. Been teaching her the "medium" concepts for two weeks now. Usually when serving food, I asked Bing Bing if her food is hot or cold, for instance, as an exercise to learn opposites.

"Is your rice hot Bing Bing?"

"It's not hot, it's warm" - Amazing I thought.

"Is the water hot or cold Bing Bing" - I asked when I drew her a bath

"Water's not hot, it's warm" - Wonderful I have succeeded.

Similar means of "medium" concept have been introduced: three sticks with different lengths, three circles with different sizes for Bing Bing to sort out.

"This is long, this is short. This is not too long not too short" - She mumbles as she sorts

"This is big, this is small. This is not too big not too small".

Oh, how could I forget. Another new breath of development for Bing Bing this month was her ability to ask this question that made us all speechless:

"Mommy, this is my Daddy, this is not your Daddy. Where's your Daddy?"

"Ong Phong is my Daddy, dear." I answered.

"Ba Binh is your Mommy or Daddy's Mommy?" - She asked. We went speechless. How could a 2 year old ask such a difficult question involving a very complex relationship?

One last thing that has been very handy for me. Bing Bing has now understood the concept of before and after. For toddler it was impossible to grasp this simple concept. For them there is only NOW or NEVER. That's why when they want something they've gotta have it now. If it's not now it means never. So they cry no matter how hard the parents explain "you can have ice cream after dinner".

"I have my rice first and I have my sua chua okay Mommy?" - YES! She's got it.

"I sleep now and I see Elsa and Anna later okay Mommy?" - Couldn't ask for more!

It's so much easier now to make a deal and explain to Bing Bing what needs to happen first before something else can happen. She really gets it!

It was truly amazing to witness and experience Bing Bing's new level of development and knowledge. She's started asking questions like "What is this Mommy?" and while I'm excited that she asked I'm nervous that in no time it's going to be real challenging to fulfil her curious mind :)

A proud mother